In your battle with OCD or anxiety, do you ever find yourself frustrated with your own thoughts and behaviors? Wondering why you feel so much anxiety about something seemingly insignificant, or why you just can't stop those compulsive urges, ruminations, or constant reassurance-seeking? Do you spiral and beat yourself up for lack of progress you think you should be making?
It's so easy to get caught up in that cycle of self-criticism, isn't it? We all fall into that trap sometimes.
Exploring the Problem:
But where does that self-criticism lead us? Why do we go there? Our human brains tend to focus on our shortcomings and whisper lies that we should be better. We falsely believe we should have more control, more strength, more perfection. But the Gospel reminds us of a profound truth: we are hopelessly flawed, far more than we even realize (as Tim Keller often said), yet we are also far more loved than we dared imagine.
Turning to Scripture:
You may have heard other counselors talk about the concept of self-compassion. But as believers, we have a far more powerful source to draw from than ourselves. In Psalm 103, David reminds us of so many beautiful truths about the Lord's love and compassion for us. Let's look at two verses in particular:
"As a father shows compassion to his children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him." (Psalm 103:13)
"For he knows our frame; he remembers that we are dust." (Psalm 103:14)
Understanding God's Compassion:
When I'm judging myself, criticizing myself, expecting perfection from myself, I'm not rightly fearing God. I'm elevating my own status and losing sight of His grace. I'm seeing myself quite differently than God sees me. I'm expecting something from myself that He doesn't expect.
What this Psalm reminds me is that in God's eyes, I am a child. God looks at me the same way loving earthly fathers look at their young children. When fathers look at their children with compassion, they don't expect them to be anything more than what they are: children. Children are needy, dependent, developing, and delightful creatures. In God's eyes, that's what I am. A needy, dependent, growing creature, and He delights in me. Good fathers love to teach their children, provide for their children, and embrace their children. They don't expect them to be fully responsible adults. When I rightly see myself in that way, I can receive God's compassion for me. Adulting is hard. But being God's child is a yoke I can bear (Matthew 11:28-30).
Embracing Our Limitations:
These verses also remind me that He knows my frame and that I am dust. Not only am I a child, but I am also God's creation. I was not created to be 'like God,' as Satan tempted Eve in the garden. Rather, I am subordinate to Him. This doesn't demean my worth; it reminds me that I don't have to expect perfection from myself. I have limitations. And that's okay!
Moving Forward in Grace:
So next time you find yourself trapped in that cycle of self-criticism, bring to mind the picture David paints in Psalm 103.
Imagine your Heavenly Father's look of compassion and delight for you His beloved child.
Breathe deeply, release the judgment, and pray the words of the Psalm "Lord, you are a loving and gracious Father. You have compassion for me. I am your child: I am allowed to be growing, developing, learning, making mistakes. Thank you that you know my frame. That you remind me that I am dust. That I am supposed to be limited. Forgive me for my prideful view of myself; that thinks I can be perfect. Thank you that help me see myself rightly. And may your thoughts of me quiet my own judgmental ones."
Call to Action:
When would it be helpful for you to remind yourself that God has compassion for you?
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